How Beyond Birthday Stole Christmas
by Luthien Luinwe
Summary: Every child at Wammy's liked Christmas a lot, but Beyond Birthday, Beyond Birthday did not. It might be because his shoes were too tight. It may be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right. But I think the most important reason of all was that his heart was two sizes too small.


**I do not own Death Note, nor do I own How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Enjoy!**

Every child at Wammy's liked Christmas a lot, but Beyond Birthday who also lived at Wammy's did not! Beyond hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season! Now please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood there on Christmas Eve hating those fools.

Staring down from his room with a sour, Beyond frown at the warm, lighted windows below in their town, for he knew every child in Wammy's beneath was busy now hanging a holly wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his Beyond fingers nervously drumming, "I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming! For, tomorrow, I know all the girls and boys will wake bright and early. They'll rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! There's one thing I hate! All the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! And they'll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing 'round on their wheels. They'll dance with jingtinglers tied onto their heels! They'll blow their floofloovers. They'll bang their tartookas. They'll blow their whohoopers. They'll bang their gardookas. They'll spin their trumtookas. They'll slam their slooslunkas. They'll beat their blumbloopas. They'll wham their whowonkas. And they'll play noisy games with zoozittacarzay, a roller skate type of lacrosse and croquet! And then they'll make ear-splitting noises galooks on their big electro whocarnio flooks! Then all of them, young and old, will sit down to a feast, and they'll feast! And they'll feast! And they'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! They'll feast on pudding and rare roast beast, raw roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least! And then they'll do something I hate most of all! Every child at Wammy's, the tall and the small, they'll stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'll stand hand-in-hand, and they all will start singing! And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!"

And the more Beyond thought of this Wammy's Christmas Sing, the more Beyond thought, "I must stop this whole thing! Why for seventeen years I've put up with it now! I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?"

And then he got an idea! An awful idea! Beyond got a wonderful, awful idea! "I know just what to do," Beyond laughed in his throat. "I'll make a quick Santa Claus hat and a coat!" And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Beyond trick! With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer," Beyond looked around, but since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop Beyond? "Ha!" Beyond simply said. "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

So he took his friend A, and he took some black thread, and he tied a big horn on top of his head. Then he loaded some bags in an old empty sleigh, and with some old empty sacks, he whistled for A. Then Beyond said, "Giddyap!" and the sleigh started to zoom toward the rooms where the children lay a-snooze in their rooms.

All their windows were dark. No one knew he was there. All the children were all dreaming sweet dreams without care when he came to the first little room in a square. "This is stop number one," the old Beyond Claus hissed as he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist, then he slipped through the door, it was rather quite odd. But if Santa could do it, then so could Beyond.

He saw where the stockings hung all in a row. "These stockings," he grinned. "Are the first things to go!" Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, around the whole room, and he took every present! Pop guns, pampoogas, pantookas, and drums, checkerboards, bizilbigs, popcorn, and plums! And he stuffed htem in bags. Then Beyond went quite sure, threw all of the bags right out of the door.

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the kids' feast! He took the pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, Beyond even took the last can of hash!

Then he stuffed all the food through the door with glee. "Now," grinned Beyond. "I will stuff up the tree!" As Beyond took the tree, as he started to shove, he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and saw a small kid, little Mello, who was only a few years younger than him.

He stared at Beyond and said, "Santy Claus, why? Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?"

But, you know, that old Beyond was so smart and so slick, he thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied. "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here." And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted his head, and he got him a drink, and he sent him to bed. And when Mello was in bed and had a snore, Beyond took the tree right out of the door.

Then he went out the door himself, the old liar. And the lat thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls, he left nothing but hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food that he left in the house was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then he did the same to the other children's things, leaving things much too small and taking their trees.

It was quarter of down, all the children in bed, all the children still a-snooze when he packed up his sled, packed it up with their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings, their snoof, and their fuzzles, their tringlers, and trappings! Ten thousand feet up, up to the window, he road with his load to the tiptop to dump it.

"Pooh-pooh to the kids!" he was humming. "They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! They're just waking up! I now just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open a minut or two, then all the kids in their rooms will all bry boo-hoo! That's a noise," grinned Beyond. "That I simply must hear!" He paused, and Beyond put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low, then it started to grow. But this sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded glad! Every child down at Wammy's, the tall and the small, was singing without any presents at all! He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came! Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Beyond, with his feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packaged, boxes, or bags!" He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then Beyond thought of something he hadn't before.

_Maybe Christmas, _he thought. _Doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more! _

And what happened then? Well at Wammy's they say that Beyond's small heart grew three sizes that day! And then the true meaning of Christmas came through, and Beyond found the strength of ten Beyonds, plus two! And now that his heart didn't feel quite so tight, he whizzed with his load through the bright morning light. He walked into the hallway. He brought back their toys. He brought back their floof to the girls and boys.

He brought back their snoof and their tringlers and fuzzles, brought back their pantookas, their dafflers, and wuzzles. He brought everything back, all the food for the feast! And he, he himself, Beyond carved the roast beast!

Welcome Christmas. Bring your cheer. Cheer to all children far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to grasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to hear, and hand in hand.


End file.
